Approaching the end of the year. A hard year in many ways for work/economy. A good year though for continuing to re-imagine life, religion, the world I find myself in. The joy of being part of the story of a friend coming out of over a decade of homelessness is among my favorite gifts this year. The saving it is doing to my soul is beyond the supposed "saving" of assenting to polished sets of beliefs or exclusive creeds, detached from actual living with and among real people. Substance and action have taken a greater place on my radar for living over against holding on to "my beliefs" this last year. And life has been all the better for it. And I think our God is still smiling...
I am grateful for several authors who have given me "permission" to explore beyond the dogmas which silently corralled parts of life, soul and journey from being pleasantly soiled by human scent, struggle and commonality.
I have not found a comfortable place in faith community, only some places which bother me "less". And that's is okay. If I found one....I would certainly be the "bother"! It isn't about, or shouldn't be about what suits me, or how I can get my weekly dose of spiritual energy the way I want it...but about about how to be with one another in a way that is helpful in becoming who we are...or are trying to be...in a way that betters the world we touch daily...and the world far away which we are inextricably connected to. So....yeah, a little lost I feel, a little disconnected. But for now I would not trade it for what I had before....and I hope that I find more people who wish to dusty their feet with me.
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For me as I am approaching the end of another year, I guess I agree with most that is has really been a very hard year in many ways. But then again I ask, has it really?
I mean, just yesterday I was visiting some Iraqi friends and got to hear some more of their war stories...how in the 90's during the Gulf War their electricity was off for months at a time...have I ever had to endure something like that this past year...or ever? (Last year ours was off for a week after huricane Ike.) They also shared how in '05 one of them was kidnapped and tortured for 2 weeks...have I or anybody I know gone through that this past year...or ever? They finally shared how their youngest son has been seperated from the family since '05 (he is in the UK and unable to get visa to be with them here in USA).
I have talked to others in the past few months who had their children kidnapped and others who had loved ones who never made it back alive. We all know there are countless similiar real life stories out there, so I guess as this year ends I am simply remembering what I once heard somebody say..."the question to ask when going through hard times is not, Why me God, but Why not me". So many others now and throughout history have gone through many very challenging times...For most of my life I have lived a very very very comfortable life, and most often what I consider terrible, many others would consider blessed. It's all about perspective I guess. May my perspective be wider and more grateful in the coming year.
Anyway, Happy New Year, I am very grateful to find more people who like my dear friend Joel, wish to dusty their feet.
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